Weblog

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Saturday, 31 October 2009

  • I TOTALLY love what DanishDoll has done ... great idea and very well done.

    I have also been thoroughly enjoying seedsower 's incredible fall pictures.

    If I had a blog, what a blog my blog could tell.......I wish I had been writing all this time. For months now I've been thinking about writing  A Year In Review but haven't really felt well enough and have been a bit apprehensive that last year might begin repeating itself. Well it has. A year in review will be along shortly.

    In the meantime I spend my time at facebook until I recently realized the audience is different here and I need/should/ought/want to be here sharing as well.

    Until then.....

Sunday, 26 April 2009

  • Time to face the music!

    So this is how it is...I am supposed to start CHEMO (Xeloda) next week, probably the 29th. I am not looking forward to it, in fact I'm actually afraid. Afraid of the side affects mostly, but also afraid of being alone while I go through it. I have managed to put it off for quite a long time due to other treatments, surgeries, complications, etc. So yeah, time to face the music.

    It will be a pill form that I take at home twice a day for one week on and one week off. They will determine if it is working based on blood tests that show tumor marker numbers about two months out and if there is no change then we'll go on to a different CHEMO treatment.

    The side affects are typical but not necessarily true for everyone: vomiting, nausea, diahrea, hair loss. There are bigger ones such as sores in the mouth, hand and foot sores. Also messes with Coumadin so more frequent blood tests are necessary.

    Because of the cancer in my spine the gagging and vomiting is especially painful...I've experienced that recently from the side affects to the radiation I had on the remaining tumor in my upper back (kinda between my shoulder blades). I absolutely HATE nausea as it affects ALL of me. It's hard to eat through nausea.

    The side affect that scares me the most is the mouth sores...sounds really bad. I'm not trying to think the worst or assume the worst will happen but i don't have the healthiest gums. There is a different drug that they encourage me to take as well. Cant think of the name right now but it is a bone strengthening drug that you take via IV every three to four weeks and a side affect to that is like a lock jaw. I hesitate to take it for the same reason.

    I have begun to feel so much stronger and better than I've felt in so long and I'm not too excited anticipating that this is going to knock me back on my butt.

    I had a friend that was going to coming to stay with me for almost three weeks and it just so happened to be during my first week of CHEMO and a little time before and after but that has fallen through and so I will be home alone. I don't know how long before any side affects actually begin but it's a funny thing how I feel about it just being me.

    I have plenty of family and friends that are helping out and will be here should I find that I can't function on my own due to the intensity of the side affects; but when I talk about being alone that's not what I mean. It goes deeper than that. I guess in the long run it's one of those between God and me kinda things.

    The CHEMO will slow the cancer down kinda like a beaver dam slows the flow of water down and eventually it weakens and starts flowing again, but will never make it go away. The damage that has been done to this point will remain but hopefully we'll find something that works to slow the growth and prevent bone breakage and fractures.

    I feel a desperate cry within me that I would remain free of the side affects and be able to continue on in the strength I've had these past couple of weeks.

    I am also facing another tune and that is I am coming to the end of my short term disability and it is time for someone to make a decision as to whether I will be able to return to work or if I need to go on long term disability.

    Additionally, my sister and brother-in-law are retiring from the military the end of May and their son/my nephew will be graduating from high school the same weekend. There will be lots of family there. I have made arrangements for my granddaughter to fly here and for she and I to take the train to my sisters' (a little over 5 hour ride) with a day or so on either end here at home for us to spend together. It's a huge undertaking, one that won't be possible if the CHEMO does knock me on my butt; however I think it's doable otherwise even though it's a lot. I would depend on the family for help and need to take care of myself.

    Well I guess that's all from me. I've wrestled over writing this, how and what to say, digging deep and being real in all of it...woke up in the middle of the night even and had to take my thoughts captive over and over again because I surely wasn't going to get up then and write it and it wouldn't quit going round and round in my mind.

    Appreciate your prayers...


    http://www.xeloda.com/faqs/xeloda-faqs.aspx#about-health-insurance

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

  • One thing after another...

    Over the past 4-6 months it has been just that...one thing after another, and they have not been necessarily good things (from my human perspective).

    It wasn't long after the kyphoplasty that I started being sick at my stomach. The dr finally gave me some anti nausea medicine after about a week; then about the end of that week I had some black stool and ended up in the hospital dehydrated and stomach scope revealing I had 3 uclers. One was quite nasty and two smaller ones.

    While in the hospital they did an mri of my stomach area (before the scope) and it read that there was a 'spot' on my liver. So I got out of the hospital on Monday and was scheduled the following Monday for a PET scan to check out that liver. Previous PET scan in August revealed that everything was ok.

    So Monday I'm trying to get ready to go to my what normally is an uneventful PET scan, but I was struck with pain so severe an ambulance had to come and take me to the hospital. I had a pinched nerve in the middle of my chest radiating to my back...where it was exactly I have no idea, but let me tell you that the pain was so severe I couldn't move. An ambulance ride in that condition is one of the most excruciating experiences one could ever go through.

    Once I got to the hospital they began taking tests and finally, medicating me. I didn't leave the hospital until 5 days later and let me tell you that it was the worst experience of my life. Basically I had a morphene drip PLUS I could medicate myself every like 6 minutes. I got so overmedicated I had no clue what was going on. Add to that some other meds they gave me that made me sick and mean. :( I thank GOD that my best friend flew in from Colorado the day I went into ER because she literally saved my life by being there and overseeing all that was going on.

    I think it was about day 3 or so that the pain finally eased. In order to leave the hospital they had to put me on pain patches and steroids equal to what I was getting in the hospital and when I went home I began decreasing all of it.

    Things were difficult enough that while I was in the hospital Cyndi (my best friend) called my son and told him that he needed to come see me. Many of you know it had been like 4 or more years since I had actually seen Greg face to face. This was the week before Thanksgiving that I was in the hospital and so Greg arrived the Monday of Thanksgiving.

    I have new pain atm so I need to stop this for now and move to my chair. I'll finish tomorrow....

Monday, 19 January 2009

  • The next event...

    So following surgery I had a bone scan that revealed widespread cancer in my spine, ribs, pelvis along with some compression fractures in my spine. With this I have had some lower back pain and it was determined that I should have a procedure called kyphoplasty and they would take a bone biopsy at that time to determine that the cancer that was showing in my bones was the same as what was in the breast...that it hadn't changed characteristics and that treatment would still be the same. The biopsy revealed no cancer in that particular bone so it is still a guess that this is the same cancer.

    Seems like I had a bone biopsy from the pelvis first though and again it was clear. They did bone marrow at that time (pelvis biopsy) and it was clear also.

    The blessing: the kyphoplasty helped the pain.

Top Tags - Weblog

[no tags]

Stargazingtoo

  • Visit Stargazingtoo's Xanga Site
    • Name: Robyn
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/24/2005
    • Premium
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.-- John Piper
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Favorite Links
Stonecroft Ministries
All About God
Freedom In Christ Ministries
Setting Captives Free
Jigsaw Zone
Animax Tic Tac Toe
Bible Quiz
Breast Cancer Foundation
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I have a great worth apart from my performance because Christ gave His life for me and therefore imparted great value to me. I am deeply loved, fully pleasing, totally forgiven, accepted and complete in Christ.

About Me

  • Child of God, Single - never been married, Mom, Grandma,

Pulse